Birth Class Update: 1st of 5 sessions

Yesterday, Sept 15 was our First of 5 Birth Class sessions with Chiqui Brosas. There were 16 couples present and it was held at the 3rd floor of Soliman Corp. Center along Don Chino Roces in Makati, registration fee was P4,900 for the couple and sessions runs from 2 to 5 PM. The venue was ok, the room was spacious and air conditioned. There are just two things i don't appreciate about the venue, there was no parking and the area gets flooded. We had to park across the street and that means we had to cross Chino Roces st with our mat and pillows which was a hassle. The biggest hassle was that since the rain was non-stop yesterday--the whole weekend actually, by the time the class was dismissed, the road was already flooded. The water was probably ankle high so i had to walk under the rain using the pillow as cover and find a place where there's no puddle where i could wait for my hubby while he gets the car.

The first day was more of getting to know our teacher and our classmates. It was actually a great feeling being with fellow pregnant women. Somehow it eased my fears just by being there, seeing them and sharing the same discomforts and fears. Chiqui introduced herself to us and shared her amazing 5 pregnancies. Most of our classmates were also on their last term of pregnancy, i think one or two are even expecting to give birth early next month already.

After the getting to know part, the teacher taught us some proper exercises to help us with the common aches experiences by expecting my moms. She also taught us what to do in case we need to move our babies at labor time. Things that parents need to watch out for were also tackled, like if there was no movement in the tummy, bleeding, sudden puffiness, violent movement of the baby. Even proper sleeping position was taught which to me was very helpful. I didnt know that sleeping on my back was bad for me, that im not supposed to do stretching in the morning as it triggers leg cramps during the day or at night which i frequently experience.

This class was supposed to be for mothers who plan to have all natural birth, honestly, i don't think i will go for all natural as my tolerance for pain is really very low. This class for me, as recommended by my OB is really more to equip me on what to expect and do during the delivery, what are the things that i need to prepare before the day comes, what i should do and not to do on some occassions. So far, the class has been helpful and i am glad that i listened to my OB and enrolled. PLUS, this is also a good bonding time for me and the hubby which i am looking forward to for 5 consecutive sundays.

Face Essentials


The day i cut my hair short was the same day i realized that dark  lippies, a better cheek tint and a good make-up brush are essetials in my make-up kit. Thus, right after i came out from the salon, i head straight to Mac Cosmetics and Beauty Bar.  The usual women sickness however when i got out of the shops, i was carrying 3 shades of dark lippies, 2 lip and cheek tint and 1 brush.  I even want to grab a nice mascara but i realized i still have one and decided to include that in next month's spree.

Every morning when i get to work, part of my ritual apart from logging in is putting on make-up.  I used to enjoy putting make-up. In fact during the earlier days of my career, im always fully made up in the office.  I don't know what happened but i got lazy after some years and got contented with Body Shop's Lip and Cheek tint.  However, i always make sure i have a stick of red lippie in my bag for those days that i needed that boost.

That stick of Bourjois Healthy Mix foundation in the lower left photo is also a favorite, sometimes i just put it around my eyes but if i want to feel flawless, i use it as my base.  This product is very light and you can use it everyday.  We don't have this brand here in Manila so when i went to HK last March, i made sure i find one even if it means walking around causeway bay.  I found it at Sasa by the way.

 

Aside from the foundation, i'm also a fan of Bourjois' blusher. Here's a special separate photo of the item. I discovered this brand when i went to Japan sometime in 2003 i think.  Isn't the blusher a cutie?!! and it comes with it's own brush and it's probably just an inch and a half big so it's pretty handy.  Of course it comes in different shades that's perfect for your complexion.

Another thing i'm a sucker for, which by the way is my usual weekend look is the tint.  Ever since i got allergies from Body Shop's Cheek and Tint, i stopped using it or any similar product.  I remember i had to go to work with rashes on my cheeks that i looked like Strawberry ShortCake. 

Anyway, during my quest for make-up ladies from Beauty Bar recommended these products to me.

 I tried them both at the shop and they seem to have the effect i wanted.  Since i couldn't decide between the two, i ended up buying both.  When i was using it already, i noticed that the tint from Model Co doesn't stay for long.  There's more color left on my fingers than on my cheeks which by the way is not that easy to remove.  So, my verdict is the tint from Benefit.  I actually have tried Benetint from a friend years ago.  I wasn't very impressed then so i didn't really give it a second thought.  But now, that's what i use during weekends.  I dab a few on my cheeks and lips just to have that natural color, if i want to feel extra pretty, i put on my Ruby Woo lippie and strut my feeling glowing rosy self.  LOL

On a side note: I know this is entry is pretty light considering the previous posts i made.  Well, nothing has really changed.  I just feel so much better now that i have entrusted everything to the Lord.  I live by the day, pray for strength, patience, understanding and love, do the best i can and just have faith that in time my prayers will be answered.  Oh, and i also sacrificed a few things for my petition.  Just so you know, i love love love chili.  I love it so much that if i can, i will have 2 pcs of chili on my viand everytime i eat.  Also, since i got pregnant, i've had this cravings for leche flan and soda and i normally have these for lunch daily.  So as my sacrifice, i decided to give up my love for spicy food, my cravings for flan and my daily caffeine kick.

Buntis Update: 6th Month




Chicklet and I on our 6th month

 

 The picture of me was taken on our 27th week while chicklet was about 24 weeks in his photo.  We will have another photo shoot this week as we are on our 28th week this Friday or 7th month.  Amazing how time flies and the nearer we are to THE day the more butterflies i have in my tummy.  I am still in disbelief with this miracle i am experiencing.  Imagine carrying a life inside you for 9 months,  just the thought of it really amazes me and it's almost impossible really but well, that's the miracle of life.  Just imgine, being responsible for another human being, everything you do, eat and feel affect the life you're carrying. And once he's out, how he will be when he grows up will have a great effect on how you molded him during his rearing years. What big responsibility that is!

Oh and if you notice I keep on saying HE, yes we're having a boy. And everybody, especially my in-laws are excited about it.

Don't get me wrong, i am not complaining.  I am just sharing my fears about this pregnancy.  I am very thankful for this blessing as i know of some who have been praying for a child for years but have not been given one yet.  Funny, those couple i know may not have a child yet but they have very healthy marriages.  Makes me wonder sometimes, do i have to choose between the two?  Can't i have both?  If you were to choose, what would you rather have? I wonder what people will say...   Anyway, today will be my last monthly check-up and i pray that everything is ok.  After this, my schedule will be every two weeks and then it will be every week during my 9th month. OB says our due date will be on December 5 or 2 weeks beore or after.  My Oh my, that's less than 3 months away or can even shorter!!! *collapse* LOL

Pray with me that everything goes well with my OB.   

Friends and Prayers

It's been 4 weeks since my world was rocked to its core.  I was gonna say crushed but that would sound so final and as far i and my faith are concerned, all these are at the least final.

Have you ever felt that you are alone in a battle?  I mean sure you get to talk to friends when you have problems but there are times when you need them to actually be there with you all the way.  Sometimes, you see that they are there listening but you don't actually feel them being there.  Im not sure if im making any sense, but that's exactly how i feel right now.  I just feel cheated of the friendship i think and believe i deserve.  Maybe because i'm the kind of friend who would drop anything just to be with a friend in need. Maybe i expected too much, maybe they're not cut for these kinds of problems, maybe they're just there during good times.  What surprised me though is that there's one person i have right now who i just recently became friends with and she's actually really, literally there for me.  And i mean she checks on me on weekends and even willing to share her family time with me.  How amazing is that? 

Yet the friends i've had for years can't even send an SMS just to ask how i am. Sad but that's reality.  In my darkest times, i was able to find comfort from a new friend.

I mentioned in my earlier post that i've never prayed this much in my entire life.  During the homily yesterday, the priest was saying people only remember to pray when they need something from the Lord.  People claim that the Lord is the most important person in their life but they can't even spare him a few minutes of their time in prayer or even to read the scriptures, they can't even spare a few hundred of their hard earned money for a bible.  All these words from the priest struck me right thru heart.  I am or i want to believe was that person.  It is sad that it had to take something like this to happen for me to realize how important the Lord's guidance is and how powerful prayers are.  I have started fervenly praying for weeks now but it was just the other day when i finally lifted everything to the Lord that i felt lighter.  Felts like a heavy weight was lifted off of me.  I am still at a crossroad, i am still at the darkest pitt i could ever imagine myself but lifting everything to the Lord and believing that He is going to answer my prayer, that i am on the right track, that i need to sacrifice a part of myself, that i have to stay focused and positive, that i only need Him.  What i am going thru now is not easy especially that i am 6 months pregnant.  The sleepless nights, the stress, the insecurities, the emotional and mental battles, the test of patience, pride and self esteem.  Everytime i feel discouraged, week, ugly,so low and confused i pray. That's what i do and i know that right now, that's the only and most powerful thing i can do.

So indeed, when problems are deep seated and long standing, try kneeling and think of Him.  He's the only person who can help you.  Don't expect friends or anyone else to be there for you 24/7. 

 

At a Crossroad...

My life for the past 2 years has been a whirwind, there were so many hasty decisions made which at this point i do not and will never ever regret. But right now, i am at a point where i begin to ask the whys... Lost and Confused are understatements if i were to describe what im feeling now.  Lost because i do not know where this will lead to and confused because i do not understant why these things are happening to me. I always believed that everything happens for a reason, once i asked some friends the reason for all these, and they say its no other than the gift of life i have inside me.  Yes, i am 6 months pregnant now. Eversince i remember, ive always wanted to have a child of my own but for some ironic reason, i am not excited about my pregnancy.  I was in the beginning but after all these terrible things have happened, the stress, all the fear of being responsbile for someone else's life, facing all these alone, the uncertainties--- all these make it soo hard for me to be excited and happy.

The decisions i make beginning today will affect the rest of my and my child's lives.  I know that for a fact.  To consider my emotions, my child's future, my personal needs, my pride, what's best for my son, being alone...are just too much.  I wish there's one button i can just press and everything will just be over.  That i can skip all the pain and be in that place where everything is where it should be, as what God planned it to be.  They say i have to go through it all, that it will make me stronger and make me a better person. The process just scares me to death.

I don't remember praying this much in my entire 35 years of existence but for the past 3 weeks, i did nothing but pray.  And they do help, my prayers help me overcome the day to day pain that i experience, it helps clear my mind off the negative things i think of that stress me out, it helps me go through my daily grind in the office.  I still don't have the specific answers i ask for, it still hasn't given me that one thing my heart desires but the fact that i live by the day is already a miracle for me.  I survive each day and my baby is still ok.

I've been reading a lot of marriage blogs and talking to my married friends, and i have learned a lot.  I was able to see the things i do wrong but these realizations may be futile as changing and improving myself may be too late already.  I know sooner or later i have to face reality.  I can do all the delaying tactics, i can beg, pray, cry but at the end of the day if it's over, it is over.  And that's something i will have to accept. I may not have to give up myself, but i can only hope and pray that his heart softens and changes from a distance.